Saturday, January 31, 2009

My AA Retreat

I went to an AA women's retreat a couple of weekends ago. It was a huge learning experience for me. I had gone once before...3 years ago when I was all of 1 week sober. Surprisingly, I got more out of it this year.
I arrived Fri night. We studied steps 1, 2,3. I was asked to speak about step 1, and I did. 'We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable'. It's probably my favourite step. I gain power by being powerless.

I had what we call a 'spiritual awakening' while at the retreat. It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. It's hard to explain unless you have had one. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. Few people, except for some alcoholics, truly understand the significance of that statement. It was an overwhelming sense that I was 'part of'.

On the Sat. night, a bunch of us played 'Charades'. Believe it not, I had never really played it before. We all wrote down either movies, books, people, etc. and put them into a box. We took turns choosing them. It was so much fun! One of my contributions was 'Dora', it was funny. The funniest one was one woman acting out 'Wizard of Oz'. Instead of clicking her heels together, she decided to make a spin of 'wiz'. Picture grown woman pretending to 'wiz' with her charade male part. We were crying with laughter.

All in all, it was a great weekend. I reinforced my commitment to my AA program, took time to talk to good friends, strengthened friendships, and made new ones.

I can't wait to go again next year!


Tammi said...

How neat-o!!
That sounds like so much fun! I can't believe that was the 1st time you played charades! I loooove playing charades!!
That reminds me of something.I let someone talk me into going to an AA dance a while back....and I said "no way! I have to have a few drinks to dance"!!lol But I wound up going anyways,and had the time of my life! I had a blast E.!!!
Ok---so I gotta admit something,and maybe I should just email you about it..but what the heck...I'm struggling with NOT wanting to share at the group I have been to lately,I think because I'm still taking Xanax sometimes,and I just don't feel like I have any clean time because of that....what's your thoughts on that Eilleen? I keep "passing" when its my turn around the circle,and once I got called on and I just can't bring myself to talk,cuz I feel like a user.Am I just being silly...or...dang...what am I trying to say?
I wish I had your motivation and strength,but for the most part I TOTALLY identify with the really cool people at the group I go to some days...but sometimes I feel so different,and that maybe nobody would understand me if I tell them how crazy I feel inside.
I better quit rambling and get ready for work.Oh,and btw,I feel so different than the wholesome non-drinking "perfect"type moms and grandmoms at my job.If they only knew my past,I wouldn't even have a job I bet.
Anyways....I love reading your posts...your such a good example.
WHAT has kept you sooooo clean,ya think?
Have a great day.

Eileen said...

First of all, our 'crazy' thoughts...THAT is a huge part of the disease of alcoholism. It took me a long time to figure that out, but once I did, it made sense. AA is the only place where I can share some of my crazy thoughts.
Have you been prescibed Xanax? I don't know anything a bout it to advise in any way if that is something to 'share' about. I take prescription meds because I need to take them. One is an anti-depresent. Do you have a sponser? If so, talk to her about it.
Nobody is perfect. Everyone has problems and issues. It's how you deal with them that makes the difference. My boss, on the surface, appears to have the perfect life. After getting to know her, I know she has some very major problems. It was an 'eye opener' for me. I use the tools that I have learned to help me through things now. I have many times a day that I struggle. I feel 'less than' almost all the time.
The one thing that keeps me relativly sane is not missing my meetings. No matter how busy I am at work, no matter how much I don't want to to, I go. It's the number one priority. I have told everyone at work that my meetings are the most important thing. I'm open about it, and they accept it. Without my program, I won't have a job and won't have my family. It is always the number one priority in my life.
I'm not sure if that helps, but I hope it does. I also don't want this blog to turn into an AA forum. I am more than happy to 'talk' to you, just not on this forum all of the time. Email me, if you'd like to.
Hope that makes sense to you.

tweetey30 said...

Glad you had a great time and learned more this time around than the first time. I know nothing of the sorts but happy for you. Ok well anyway I am off to bed after a couple more blogs.. Take care and hugs..

That girl said...

Good for you! It sounds awesome.

Anonymous said...

qzr d tuu l, free xxx. iqt m, lgz tkniip! xwfc i qme ay.