Saturday, May 31, 2008

Another New Home (this time for real)...and THE talk

We did not end up taking the new home that I posted about previously. I did say that I was going to take it, but really, I wasn't happy about it. It was very small, and much further from the school than I wanted to be.
I kept checking my usual sites, 'MLS.CA', 'Viewit', and Toronto Star listings. Obviously, if I was happy with the place I wouldn't have kept looking.
I did see another add, called and went to see it. This new place is perfect for us. It's 3 bedrooms, and the girls can have their own room. It's big. The kitchen is big, the bathroom is big, the bedrooms are all a nice size. It's more money per month, but weighing the pros and cons, it's worth it. It's also much closer to school, and the shops that we go to.
We move July 1, but probably not really July 1 as it's Canada's birthday and a long weekend. It will be difficult to move at that time. The lady who lives there now is nice, and I might get her bed out of it, too. I love my mattress, so that's coming with me anyway, but her bed frame is great. She doesn't want it because it was her 'marital' bed and now she is divorced.
The owner is great. I told her that I was in AA and she was great with it.
It's a triplex, 3 'apartments' in the house. We have the middle, or 2nd floor. The people in the basement are moving, so don't know who's moving in yet. There are 3 guys who live on the top floor, I met one of them. They are all in their late 20's, all professionals, or teachers. I was a little concerned being a single parent with 2 girls, but after meeting the one guy and talking to the current tenant, I feel like it's safe and secure for the girls and I.

And, the next news....
Heather and I had THE TALK a couple of days ago. Leah had a playdate/birthday party, so Heather and I had some time alone. I went to the library and to Indigo and came home with 3 books. Heather has been exceptionally moody lately, so I thought it was time.
I showed her the books, explained things that she wanted explained, and we talked. She was excited about the thought of growing up and getting breasts. She didn't ask about the actual 'how' a baby was made, so I didn't explain it to her. We did talk about 'parts' and looked at pictures.
Then came the part about 'products'.
Again, we looked at the pictures, but that wasn't good enough for her. I had to go and get some 'products' for her to see. While it was embarassing, it was funny and I saw things in a different light. Kids do that to you sometimes. We opened the one product and she 'tried' it in her underwear. Then we opened the 'other' package. She was interested, while I was trying to not get embarassed about it further. We dipped it in water. Then she squeezed the water out. I got rid of it after that. We talked a lot about what happens if she gets 'it' at school or other places. She wants to get 'it' now, and she wants 'it' at school. I did not say 'just wait'. It will happen. Maybe not for months or years, but it will happen. Then she'll be sorry.
I'm glad I had THE talk with her. She seemed happier the last couple of days. I told her that her emotions being all over the place were part of puberty, and sometimes she was going to get upset and cry over things that normally she wouldn't. I know personally, when I find out that something is 'normal' it helps me to get through it. We also felt a closeness with each other that was comforting.
This morning I woke up to Leah coming into my room saying 'Mommy, Heather got her period'. 7am on a Sat. Leah has no idea what that means, she's only 5. I had to laugh, even though it was 7am.
One down, one to go....

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


Wow, do the AA Promises ever come true if you work the Program (of Alcoholics Anomymous).
I wrote about work, that one Assistant was fired and the other went on vacation.
Well, I filled in that week and at the end of the week I spoke with my boss. The plan was to get a temp who could assist until her Assistant came back from Mat leave in Dec.
She (Cheryl) offered me the job! Not only that, another (NICE) raise to go with it. I was shocked, but of course I said 'yes'.
I did have some problems last week with the other Assistant and one of the lawyers (K). When the other Assistant (A) came back from her vacation, she was not pleased to see me sitting in that chair. A and K gave me a very hard time. Last Wed I lost it, talked with another lawyer (M) and told her that I didn't want the job anymore and my sobriaty was not worth the job. I walked out. During this time, Cheryl was in a meeting and didn't know what was going on. M told me that after I left and Cheryl came out and heard what had happened, sh*t hit the fan. Cheryl was not upset with me, in fact, she defended me. She laid into A and K and told them to smarten up (I don't think it was said that nicely, though).
Cheryl wrote me a very nice email that night, said that I was doing a great job, she was sorry that they treated me so poorly, she was committed to having this work and other nice stuff. I was clearly shocked at this, as I thought that I was going to be out of a job. I wrote her back, told her the truth, that in the past 3 days the 2 of them (A and K) took me back 2 1/2 years. Cheryl knew me then. I told her that I was NOT going back to that place of 2 1/2 years ago under any circumstances. The rest of the week was okay, nothing major, but I kept quiet and did my work.

Today I had a great day. A and I were talking a bit in the kitchen/copy/binding room. She ended up telling me that she thought that I was doing an amazing job and that I'm catching on very quickly. I told her how much it meant to me that she said that. We talked about the fact that while I don't have the legal background, I do have other assets and strengths and we could work together pulling our individual strengths. It was a great talk and at the end of it she hugged me. I said to her 'work is so much better when we get along and communicate in an effective manner, isn't it?' She laughed and we went on with our day.
Towards the end of the day, I spoke with her about the laptop that Cheryl got for me so I could work at home. I told A that I wanted to do more work, I'm not getting paid extra for doing it, and I asked for the work. She is in her late 20's, engaged, planning a wedding, and have an active social life. I, on the other hand, am a single mother with 2 young kids. After they go to bed, I want more stuff to do. I can't go out at night (unless I get a babysitter, don't do that often because I don't want to). I'm not being 'poor me', I like my life and am very content with it.

I talked with Heather and Leah about it tonight, the fact that last week I was so upset and this week things are better. Things really can turn around and tomorrow IS another day. It's a nice, positive way to live, and that's all I'm trying to do.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A New Home.

It's been a long time since I last posted. I find very few people read my blog, so I often forget to post.
My last post was about the fact that we had to move and I realized that we were quite happy where we were. That's still the case, but there are some compromises and solutions that we have found together as a family.
We finally found a place. I called today and confirmed. I took the girls to see it twice and at the same time brought some of my own adult friends to see it as well. It's in the school district, which is very good. The catchment area for this school is very small, pretty much everyone who goes to the school can walk there in 10 minutes (an 'adult' walk of 10 min, not a 5 year old walk of 40 min). It's 3 blocks away from here, but further from the school. It's the bottom floor of a triplex, meaning that it's a large house with 3 totally separate units. Ours is sort of semi-basement. We have to walk down a few steps, but it's above ground. It's cute, 2 bedroom, cozy kitchen, tiny bathroom. The rent is great, the owner is very nice. She owns our triplex and one next door to it, with a driveway between it. Cute backyard, parking, laundry. It's a nice place and I think we'll be happy there. The girls like it a lot, and I promised them that when we move there I will not attach their bunk beds and they can have 2 separate beds in the same room. We're also going to look for a dog once we're settled in. I felt a huge relief when I called today to say 'yes' we would take it.

Other news:
Work has been crazy. There are 4 lawyers, 2 assistants, and myself. I sort of do everything, including a/r, filing, some 'Clerk' stuff, and misc. stuff. Well, last Fri one assistant was let go. She was on contract for the assistant who is on mat leave (she's back in Dec). The other assistant is on vacation this week. Guess who that leaves to do all of the work??? ME! I'm sitting at the desk of the one who was fired. I have no idea what I have been doing for the past two days, but Cheryl (main lawyer) told me that I'm doing an awesome job. Doesn't feel like it, but I haven't screwed anything up yet, so I guess I'm doing something right. Cheryl told me how amazing it is to see how far I've come in the past two years. I started off with her 2 years ago, going in a couple of hours here and there to help out. I had zero self confidence and was not a happy camper with life. Now, 2 years later, I'm a different person (thanks to AA). Cheryl also told me that she thought I had lots of potential and how proud she is of me. It was obviously very nice to hear.

I also got my van back. Two years ago, I lost my licence because of a DUI. I was very much DUI. There are levels that 'they' give to help people understand where they are on the intoxicated scale. I blew 340, which is in between comatose and dead. Yes, I was driving. No, I didn't get into an accident or hurt anyone. Different lifetime ago. Anyway, April 28 was the end of the interlock condition on my license so now I have my van back and I can drive. It's really neat driving again after 2 years. Too bad gas is $1.20 a litre!

There's lots more, but nothing else really to write about now.
I'll write more again soon (as soon as something else interesting happens)....