Thursday, May 31, 2007

I try to be a positive person. When I was younger I was sick a lot, complained a lot about different things, and accordingly found myself getting short of friends. Who wants to be around negative people and negative energy? I've learned a lot the past couple of years, one of the most important things is to stay positive as much as possible. See the good in people. Make a gratitude list...sometimes as simple as 'I can breathe' is enough to snap me out of negativety.
I had a chat with Heather about that last week. She was bummed out because she's never been to Niagara Falls, Disneyland (or world), or left Canada. By the end of the conversation she was feeling much more positive because I reminded her about the things that she DOES have and has done. Very few 8 year old/grade 2's she knows have climbed mountains, had a huge petting zoo and pony rides in their backyard, caught a 20+ lb salmon, lived in another province, double-pearced ears, and a mother who (temporarily) died her hair brown, then bright pink. She wasn't feeling as sorry for herself after that conversation. Makes me feel a lot better that I can handle these situations in a positive way.
The last couple of weeks have been a challenge for me. I'm happy at work, but I don't have a 'real' job there. I'm 'casual', meaning that I'm not on regular payroll. No job security. I am trying to rectify that situation. My job was to be very temporary casual, but it's turned into more. The day to day challenges with the girls and having to do everything myself is sometimes overwhelming for me. How can I make the exact same thing for dinner that they loved one day and hate the next day?
One of my major 'challenges' these days is Scott, my ex. Problem is, he isn't truly my ex yet. I want that *** piece of paper that makes it legal that we are no longer married. I shared a few posts ago about how a couple of amazing women at work made the piece of papaer for me. Not legal, but very sweet of them. We had been getting along okay, but we've been trying to work out a more formal and legal Agreement to move on with stuff. To make a very long story shorter, he hasn't paid his legal bills, his lawyer won't do anymore work for him, and he flatly refuses to pay a dime towards an Agreement. I'm very tempted to leave things as they are in the Court Order from over a year ago. He has access alternate weekends from Fri to Sun. Period. That's it. We were working on and incorporating things that we both wanted in this Agreement. He has an extra night. Instead of bringing them home Sun night, he brings them home Mon am. I 'gave' him 2 weeks in the summer. I 'gave' him a flexible night during the week to take them for dinner...he has NEVER exercised that, by the way. What do I want? The current Order states that I must attend AA daily, must go for urine drug testing 3x a week, and some other stuff. As things are now, I don't want to have to go to AA daily or drug testing that often. I am blessed to have 5 AA meetings in 2 buildings that are directly in my 'bubble' of life. I will talk about my 'bubble' another time. Anyway, it's so frustrating for me. He is in agreeement of the the conditions and terms of the Agreement, but won't even contribute to the cost of it. I'm torn right now between telling him he does have alternate weekends and thinking of the girls and letting the girls have more time with him (not him having more time with them). Same thing but different ways of thinking of it. One is for the girls, other is for him. I think of what's right for them.
Time will tell what route I go. Perhaps for this weekends visit they will come home Sun night, and I'll take more time to think about the summer visit.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Crazy, Stupid, ? I'm glad I'm not 8!

As part of Heather's 8th birthday, I had promised that she could invite 3 friends to sleepover. She's had sleepovers before, no biggie. She wanted more. Being a girl, I knew if she invited 2 friends, it would be 3 kids...bad idea to have odd number of kids, so I told her she could invite 3. Plus Leah, but that's because Leah was to have her own 'sleepover' in my room.
The sleepover turned into seeing 'Shrek 3' after school yesterday. Okay, fine. The parents of the 3 gladly paid for their kids. It turned out to be one of the mom's and her other daughter who is more Leah's age, so there were 6 kids plus 2 moms. It was actually not as bad as I thought. The 8 of us bussed it there, watched the movie, and only spent $20 on popcorn and candy (I brought water for all). The movie was good. I love Shrek. The girls liked it as well. After the movie, we took the bus home, stopped off at the corner pizza place, ordered and came home. Fastest pizza delivery in history. Anyway, fast forward....the other mom took her younger daught and went home. Leah was in the tv room and then climbed into her tent that was set up in my room.
The 4 girls took both Heather's and Leah's mattresses off the bed and set them up on the floor. There was major talk about who would sleep where. At 10, I asked them to stop playing and told them I was turning the light off. More talk about who was sleeping where. I asked each one if I could hug them and kiss them good night, they said 'yes' so I did. To make a long story short, 2 wanted to go home (neither did, although one called her parent's twice). It was 12 by the time they were all sleeping. Actually, I don't even know if they were all sleeping because I went to bed. It was late for me, I'd had a long day.
This morning all is okay, they all survived. We're just getting ready to go to the school fair now.
Have a good Saturday!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Goodbye Tamagotchi...Hello Webkinz!

Webkinz are the newest craze for kids in Heather's school. I didn't know what they were at first...WHAT?!? you want to spend $15 on a STUFFIE?!? When Leah got her tonsils out a couple of months ago, Heather went with a friend and her family to see Robert Munsch at Chapters. The store had Webkinz and Heather called me, begging me to allow the purchase of one. I did so, but wasn't happy about it. Skip forward a couple of months... Heather had her birthday party this past Saturday. She recieved 3 Webkinz, in addition to the 2 I had already bought her. Who goes on Webkinz every night once the girls are in bed? ME. That's right, I went on to check it out before Heather did, and also so I could help her if she needed it. Well, she teaches me stuff (although I have won 2 Cash Cow trophies!). This virtual world is amazing. It IS fun. She started off with one room, now she had about 10, and 2 outdoor yards. Eachof her 5 friends has their own room, plus a couple of playrooms, bathroom, kitchen, diningroom, etc. I only wish I had a house half as large as these virtual pets have.
Heather has a birthday party tonight. The girl, Shannon, has the same birthday as Heather and they have been friends for 2 years now. A couple of weeks ago I got Heather the unicorn to give to her at her birthday, well, that's the one that Shannon got for Heather. I talked to Shannon's mom and we agreed that since they have the same birthday, they could recieve the same Webkinz.
I finished work a bit early yesterday so I went downtown to the Eaton Centre (NOT Eating Centre, as my kids call it...they don't even know what Eaton's is, or was :) ). My puprose was to purchase a small 'add on' for Shannon and her new Webkinz. What do I do??? I purchase yet another Webkinz for Heather to replace the unicorn we are giving to Shannon, AND I buy them each the brand new Trading Cards. The new on-line trading card thing isn't even open yet and she already has the beginnings of a collection going.
I'm all for kids being on computers and being on-line. It's a skill they need to have in todays world. I was often caucious of Heather being on-line as I don't want anything bad to happen to my computer (oh ya, her as well). There are some not so nice sites out there. The great thing about Webkinz World is the fact that it is a safe site, and I can minimize the other windows so that window is the only one showing. Even better, I enjoy it as well. It's a fun, safe, and educational world there. Hey, I sound like an ad...do I get paid for this??

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

effin

As a funny 'aside' from the rest of the stuff, I wanted to share something that Rick and I were talking about the other day.
Rick, I believe, is in his 50's. Very nice guy, down to earth and great sense of humour. I was talking to one of the other teachers about something, and I said that I was 'pissed off'. Rick, who was at the other end of the room, came up to me and asked me what I said, he said 'you were WHAT?' I said I was 'pissed off', then I said 'oh, I said that too loudly, didn't I?' We laughed about that and then he started to tell me about a book he was reading. He said there was a lot of swearing in the book, but they also said EFFIN and spelled it that way. He said 'e-f-f-i-n'. What do I do??? 'EFFIN?' Loudly. Then I got it. Hahahaha. We had a good laugh over my slowness. Now we sort of jokingly spell the first couple of letters of things to each other.

Good Things CAN Happen

After my previous post, and wondering about good and bad things, something really good happened today. I try to let things go, to let my higher power do what is right for me and my family. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't.
At the last minute today, I went to a meditation meeting. It's literally across the street from work. I talked about that before, how work/Leah/meetings are all so close to each other...it's ideal for me. Anyway, at this meditation, I was thinking about letting things go and sort of 'going with the flow'. I left the meeting early, feeling the need to get outside. I checked my phone messages and there was one from Heather's daycare asking me to call. She didn't go to school today, she was sick and hung out with my mother, so I knew it wasn't anything bad about her. I called Peggy (manager of daycare) and she told me that Leah has a spot there, and since siblings are priority Heather has a permanent spot as well. We've been on this waiting list for over 2 years. There was vertually no chance of them getting into it. It has one of the longest waiting lists in the city. I couldn't believe it. At Leah's current daycare they recently sent a letter asking parent's to let them know if their child is staying or leaving for next year. They have a long list as well, it's infant to kindergarten. One of my biggest dilemas for next year was Leah and if Heather didn't get into that daycare. Leah is fine to stay where she is for JK (there's junior and senior kindergarten here-kids start at 4 yrs). Now, because of this phone call, Heather and Leah are in the same school and the same daycare. Being a single parent, I also qualify for subsity, meaning I don't pay for all of my daycare. It is a bonus, as it's so expensive.
I was a bit worried about telling Leah about it, she loves her daycare so much and she has close friends there. Not to mention how I feel about them. Many of the teachers, and the manager there, have known me throughout my 'ordeal' and have been extremely supportive. There is one male teacher there in the JK room, Rick. He is amazing. We joke all the time, but he is the most positive male influance in Leah's life (yes, including her father).
Once again, I'm floored by letting things go and not stressing over them. It does not, by any means, mean that life is perfect. It means that I do trust what I believe to be my higher power to do what is best for me.
Pretty neat stuff!