Thursday, February 22, 2007

What happens when you get what you ask for??

I have been legally separated for over 2 years. There are lots of reasons as to why, really, it doesn't matter. Over the past few months, my daughters and their father have been 'begging' for more time with each other. A couple of weeks ago, he (Scott) and I actually talked a bit. It was close to a desent conversation. We are now in the process of working towards a final agreement, which in turn will lead to our divorce (big YIPEE). One of the things we have agreed with is on his weekends (he has every-other), he wants to drop the girls off at school. I think that's great. It gives them an extra night together, gives me an extra relaxation night, and most importantly he will have to deal with the Sunday night/Monday morning moods after a weekend with him. Anyway, this is the first weekend we have agreed to do this. It's his weekend, and the girls have been really trying to get me to agree to this. Finally, after lawyer letters and talks, I said yes today. All is happy??? Of course not. He started to ask me what time they had to be at school. Leah's in daycare, so it can be whenever. Heather has to be at school around 8:35am. He started to complain that it was too late for him. He should drop them off at home and let me take them. Not going to happen. I made arrangements to go into work this Mon am early. I also made plans to go out Sun evening. He told me we have to think of something. Can Heather walk with a friend? No. Can she go early? No. Can I go in late? No. I could actually ask my mother to meet him here in the am and she could take them, but that would be too easy for him. Don't get me wrong, I do want them to see each other more, he just has to take responsibility for it now. Also, part of this agreement is a flexable night during the week. He's already bitching about it. His loss is my gain, that's how I see it.
By the way, Leah's surgery is a week tomorrow. He hasn't said a word about being there, or even how he's getting there. I think it's funny. What do you think? One of the biggest reliefs in my life was the day that I decided that life was the girls and I, and I don't have to worry or even think about when or if Scott is in it. Once I surrendered to the fact that I have no control over things that he does, I felt a serenity I have never felt before. It's a wonderful thing!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Who is the Parent??

I picked up Heather from school the other day. She said 'Samantha and I are going to have a play date this Saturday...and a sleepover. Please call her Mommy to confirm.'
Okay, I know in grade 2 kids want to become more indipendent and have their voices heard, but whatever happened to a child asking if it was alright. What if I was planning a trip somewhere hot this weekend? Today is a PA (or PD) day, so it's a long weekend. Luckily I hadn't confirmed any plane tickets, so the playdate can go ahead.
Samantha's mother called me. We agreed to a playdate Saturday. Samantha will be dropped off at our house in the afternoon, will stay for dinner, and then both girls will be picked up after dinner for a sleepover at her house. It's so weird. I barely know this girl, have met the father once (they had a playdate a couple of weeks ago and the dad picked Heather up to go to the Science Centre), and I've never met the mom. I've never even seen their house, but yes, I'm allowing my child to sleep there. Her father seemed nice and her mother sounds nice on the phone, so I guess I will have to go with that.

Monday, February 12, 2007

I took Leah to the doctor last week, she's going to have her tonsils and adnoids out. Heather had hers out 1 1/2 years ago, now it's Leah's turn. Heather is very excited and thrilled about Leah's upcoming operation. She can't wait. Leah, on the other hand, is not as excited. Heather tells me every night that she can't sleep because of Leah. The fact that Leah ends up in my bed every night doesn't seem to make a difference.
I also found out that the day of Leah's surgery (March 2) is also the day of the BIG school skating party for Heather. Once a year they have this: the entire school and families go to a nearby rink; it's lots of fun. Well, Leah and I won't be going to that, but I am making arrangements for Heather to go with some friends. She'll have a good time. I'm hoping as well that there won't be a repeat of when Heather got her tonsils out. Her father came over later the evening she had them done, he brought her a scooter and also couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him take Heather to a movie. Go figure. I'm just a mean mom I guess.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

My Little Angels

I don't know why I love this picture so much. It was taken at Hanukkah when each child had about 50 presents to open. I think I love it because of the expressions on their faces. It's so 'them'. Added effects are the red eyes. I didn't even have to add them.
The 'Old One' is Bratz, or Heather. She's 7 1/2. The 'Little One' is Monster, or Leah. She's 4. When we are out, I usually call them by their nicknames and get funny looks from other people. I don't care, I like their names. It's who they are: Bratz and Monster. As their mother, what does that make me?


It is so cold here in Toronto. I thought that because I grew up here, and lived in BC for several years, that it wouldn't take me long to get used to the cold again. I was wrong. It's ONLY -15 today, certainly not the coldest spot in Canada, or even Ontario for that matter. I pick the girls up from school and basically lock ourselves in the house until we have to go out again. Today my older daughter has a friend here (they both have martial arts tonight). They, along with my 4 year old, wanted to play on the trampoline of all things. 'NO' I said...'it's winter'. Thinking that would be enough of an explanation, I proceeded to unlock the door and go in the house. I looked behind me expecting to see 3 frozen girls, instead I see them trying to slide down the driveway on salted ice (you don't slide much on that stuff, I think that's the point of putting the salt down). I was so happy when Heather told me that because the groundhog didn't see his shadow it would be an early spring. Silly groundhog!

Well, I may just go get more real fur to keep me warm. BBBRRRR.. Or, I could be a bear and sleep all winter...that sounds good to me.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

A good day today!

So it's Saturday night. 9pm. My daughters are sleeping. I saw an old high school friend today, haven't seen her in many months, although we do talk on the phone sometimes. It was great to see her, and it was as though we saw each other yesterday. I find it's like that with very close friends. Anyway, I'm going through a self-improvement thing where it's different stages and stuff. One I'm on now, I want to go back to people I have emotionally hurt in the past and talk to them about it, let them know I'm sorry about stuff. So my girlfriend and I were having tea, with all of the kids upstairs playing, and I told her what I was doing and wanted to say some stuff to her. I was a bit nervous, but I did finally talk to her about a couple of things from when we were teenagers. Wouldn't you know it, she barely remembers the stuff and couldn't believe it had been bothering me all of these years. It felt great to say it, and even better to know that it didn't affect her nearly as much as I thought it would. Life is good.

I'm going to try to figure out how to get pictures and stuff on here. Michelle wants to link this blog to her blog, so that's fine. It's her fault I'm doing this, so I'd better try. My daughters already think I'm on this thing too much...